Why does the Anxiety Department get all the funding?

Hello Boss,

How is life going? Sorry to bother, but we have a bit of the situation here at the Brain Headquarters. The Thoughts are out of control, Anger and Frustration are at all levels high, and Anxiety took over fully supported by Stress. I heard you talking to your colleagues and friends the other day, seems like a “Complaining & Worry Meeting” I host here. I hate those, not sure why you insist on doing them.

Boss, with the raw materials I am getting from you and the real world, it’s impossible to keep everything calm and stable. You are always on a deadline, rushing and relying on Stress to push through. Why does the Anxiety Department get all the funding? Based on the long resolution list you want to accomplish this year, we need to put some energy into Clarity and Focus fund.

And sorry for getting you sick last month – it was an emergency. You overworked the Body, and the Immune system crashed. You don’t sleep well and long enough, so the restart function fails. I tried to inform you via constant headaches, but you ignored them by taking pills. Boss, sleep and rest are essential for the smooth operations, you know. I got custom made patented genes installed here, all you need to do is give it space and time to do the job. Distracting on Social Media, having a drink or meeting with friends to “talk about life” does not help here, on the Brain Level.

I know you are busy, so I brainstormed on what you could do to improve the situation. You exercise, I know, but that’s help for the Body, not for me, the Brain. Different functions you know… Here is a simple 15-min practice, please consider this as a long-term investment into your happiness, focus, clarity and mental health. Just do it daily, that’s all I ask. Going to a yoga class once in a blue moon does not do anything for me. Please create a habit – humans are animals of habit.

Add mindfulness to your day with only 10-15 minutes:

  1. Start your day with a smile immediately after you wake up and think of 3 things you are grateful for in your life. Even if you don’t feel like it, just do it. This facial movement and positive thoughts send happy signals to the Brain HQ.
  2. Relax and center any time of the day with a guided meditation. If guided is not your thing or conditions do not allow, just close your eyes and follow your breath for 5-10 min or as long as you need.
  3. Take 3 deep breaths before lunch. Inhale slowly on the count of 5. Pause at the top for 1-2 counts. And exhale slowly on the count of 5. Repeat 3 times at least.
  4. At the end of the day, do a quick body scan paying attention to any tension and stress and imagine releasing it with the breath.
  5. Journaling. Anytime when you feel the worry and anxiety, start writing about it for 1-2 min without stopping. Dumping stress on paper does magic.

And Boss, the last thing, could you treat our staff here to a salad once in awhile? I know you don’t think of Gut and Brain departments having a connection, but we do. Fast food and soda are an empty fuel here, doesn’t do much for the energy levels.

Boss, thank you for the opportunity and time. I just want you to be happy.

To your success,

Your Brain

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